just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so let's talk penis.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
