and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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