then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize