Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
