a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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