If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
