oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
