jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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