My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
