Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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