She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize