brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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