they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize