You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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