I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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