don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I still have a little drunk in my system
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
