The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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