I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
