carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
