Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
did i just pee glitter
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
