clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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