shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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