I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
