Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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