So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
