took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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