I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
it glows. i had to have it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
