Sry I called you an 8
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
