i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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