Dual....:-)
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
