my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
