No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think my mom watched the whole time
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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