Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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