Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She's JV to your varsity
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Pants are for mortals
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize