That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
