and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
