You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
