How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
