doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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