So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
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