Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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