i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
