Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
as a side note pls kill me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
