I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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