Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
