idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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