So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
