dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
