how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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