you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
