Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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