What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
