garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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