"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
