i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
