i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
