Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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