i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
