You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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