Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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