Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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