I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
