sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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