We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
