pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
