I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize