Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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