And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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